So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. Is the problem with ME personally or something that I am wearing or carrying? Let her sniff your jacket or your bag for example. If one were going to be pedantic about it, the solid perfumes would be the only ones properly referred to by the word perfume. I have to agree . Thats just how it is. The next time she asks for help that you haven't been assigned to provide her, make the conversation about you following your boss's direction. Oil tends to penetrate and spread, so yeah, maybe its in the clothing permanently. I bet the letter writer burns incense, which is pervasive and will stick to clothing. Wash my hands right after, thats not a problem. I choked on my lunch at little cloud of toxic masculinity. My husband bought some Axe bodywash once because hes oblivious and I had to tell him to replace it because that stuff was rank. I tried everything. If this were me, I would tell coworker Ive done what I can and she can take it to the boss or HR if she feels more should be done. coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose, legal names and job applications, and more by Alison Green on September 24, 2015 It's five answers to five questions. In fact, unless the scent comes from something that uses natural chemicals (most dont) or uses a couple of synthetic chemicals mostly used in paints or plastics, it is physically impossible for her/him to have an allergic reaction to it. I get mean vibes from her too. So To qualify as a hostile work environment, the conduct must be offensive not only to the employee, but also to a reasonable person in the same circumstances. Finding affordable products that actually work for my skin and hair is extremely extremely difficult. Which also reinforces my belief that your coworker can go walk off a pier. Ive never complained, as I realized theres not much he can do to change it, so I resorted to using some (in my opinion) very mildly scented body lotion on my neck before I come in to work so I can smell that instead of him. 20 years later, Im still not on speaking terms with watermelons. Southern Comfort for me. I spent the rest of the conference in an anti-histamine induced haze. But if she has a life-threatening allergy thats on a hair trigger, youd have to ask coworkers and their families to change everything in their routines, and Im still not sure it would work. Even if she has legitimate fragrance sensitivities and some people do, although its not clear if thats really whats going on with her or not this isnt the way for her to handle it. Thats a good point. I love indie oil type perfumes and patchouli is not a note I typically wear (although I know very well what it smells like). The fabrics used in most work clothes are synthetic or a blend. Oh yeah, thats smart too. Shes done more than is reasonable. However, I noticed you said you stopped wearing perfume but have you also stopped using the indie oil scents? The runny nose, persistent stuffiness, and postnasal drip of the sniffles are often self-diagnosed as a cold. We have no HR director, the owner refuses to address this. Strategies for Dealing with Snitches Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Its a supervisors job to do that. *Hugs* to you. Yeah not really. It doesnt smell anything like pee, but reminds me of the smell all the same. If she thought I was gone for the day, shed even use my cubicle as a spray booth for whatever reason. Theyve been here since February and they still smell the same I wonder what it is! Asking a coworker to switch soaps is ridiculous. OP should do what she can to avoid being overly fragrant at work, but she doesnt need to cut anything and everything that smells from her life. This was my second reaction (after the first, which was sympathy for OP!). I have a coworker who DROWNS himself in cologne at the end of the day, every day. One, about patchouli just dont. I mean, what more should the OP be asked to do? Ask Fergus, Does this scarf smell offensive to you? Also, the day she complained I wasnt even wearing patchouli! Shes definitely being annoying about it, but its possible she doesnt work in close proximity with anyone else for it to be an issue. Not a certainty, of course, but a possibility. I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. I had a problem like this a long time (6 years) ago I found it finally went away when I reduced the stress in my life and got treatment from several alternative health practitioners: regular massage, kinesiology and chiropractic treatments and that eventually allowed my body to relax and eventually the sniffing reduced and disappeared. 2. We can list every single scented item under the sun that ~maybe~ is causing OP to have some sort of fragrance but really, this is over exaggeration and harassment on coworkers part. I also switch my perfume up pretty often, so its not like I have one scent that Im repeating every day. The scent I was wearing suddenly started being unbearable right after I received a promotion. Totally agree with this. Get queasy even smelling it/seeing the bottle. ), so part of me wonders if shes just being nasty or if another coworker is wearing those scents and shes just assuming its OP. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. Love the Smelly LW title! My niece, on the other hand, absolutely loves it. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html. I think its like color blindness, there must be a receptor that some people have that make them aware of something in the patchouli/patchouli type scents and the wearers arent actually able to detect the same scents. It usually is, but theres no guarantee. And that is what this is. I would still never buy it or order it in a bar, however. Blah, blah, blah. I had my last root beer float at age 9 or so, and I will never eat another one as long as I live. I love perfumes and scented bath products, but my scalp is really allergic to many fragrances. But this sounds like a specific attack on the OP for some reason. Cleveland Clinic 1995-2023. I went through a brief patchouli phase in my late teens. I agree the coworker is being a jerk and is completely out of line with how she is handling this, but it could also be this particular scent and not all scents. Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. I was thinking that too. i think many of the suggestions here are verging on unreasonable. People cant go through life expecting to never have to encounter faint scents.. if there is a sensitivity at play here, it should be on the workplace to figure out an accommodation for the affected employeenot for OP to try even harder to obliterate every aromatic molecule from her clothes/jackets/chairs/PORES(?!!?? Its quite another to pay a bunch of money on things like carpet cleaning, new mattress pad, etc., in the hope that it might appease the coworker. I have spoken to my manager who has spoken to my coworker several times but . putting an end to your runny nose. Yes, when I pour some vinegar into the washer there is no vinegar smell when the wash is done. If she tries cornering you and directly accusing you, you just shrug your shoulders confused and say you dont know how you can help her solve her problem of the phantom scent. Has she told others that their scent bothers her? If that doesn't do it, HR or headphones. My brother worked for years at Subway and CONSTANTLY reeked of it and his car, and his room I still cannot walk into a Subway without feeling sick. I will say re: patchouli that its a particularly lingering fragrance. Im trying to come up with something constructive like the rest of the comments, but all that keeps going through my head is why are you so obsessed with me? a la Mean Girls. OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. Oh, thats a really good observation. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. Its really difficult to calmly sit with the person attached to that trigger and explain whats happening. If shes complaining about OPs non-smell, and if shes fragrance-sensitive, spraying febreeze is like an act of war. That doesnt keep the other odors from actually entering, though; it just overpowers them. REAL CUNT indeed. I really wish that was possible, but it's not. Oh well then.if she just doesnt like it, thats just too bad. Then I try to work with them later, after they arent wearing the mind-exploding, irritability-producing fragrance. Several of the suggestions above talk about completely changing what products one buys and what one does while at home. Sorry, I might sound rude but I personally think all offices should have a no parfume/no strong aftershave rule because although the wearer of a parfume may love the way it smells, odds are NO ONE ELSE does. I would also say they need to go to their manager or HR. The vinegar smell has always washed for me, but I know some people who add 1-2 drops of EO to add some lavender/peppermint scent to it, but that opens the door to other complaints anyways. Instead, shes making an ass of herself. 47 1 Sponsored by Karma Shopping LTD OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Never would I not enjoy a nice bath one evening with some yummy essential oils because the smell lingered 12 hours later. Yeah. This is so timely! Im genuinely curious about this. Some infections present with unusual symptoms (like bad breath) or no symptoms at all. But the coworker would probably then be encouraged in her delusions of scent. Ive bought saline spray (thats the strongest stuff I can use). Both me and the coworker are white, thank goodness. Telecommuting, or disability, at that point. Good idea! Primary care is a good place to start. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. People are pretty accommodating when its a medical reason. Sounds like this is a common bullying tactic. Now I can only drink red. And that's because your coworker might not even know that she likes you yet. And laundry care routines arent always simple either my mom has allergic reactions to many common brands of detergent, so finding a new unscented brand that doesnt make her break out in hives would be, again, a trial and error process that could get expensive fast. A physical change of environment for one or both of them should neutralise this co-workers issue. My dog would always be smelling my pants. Totally agreed, Im fine with not wearing perfume to work, and not using smelly lotions, and I could totally be on board with unscented detergent, but Im not going to change my shampoo or my body wash or stop taking bubble baths when Im outside of work. This accomplishes TWO things. Unfortunately theres no way to pinpoint it unless you literally go sniffing around. This is why Im scared to take up perfume, for fear of being 80 and having a personal cloud of smell. Toxic behavior can manifest through words, body language, disrespecting boundaries, hoarding information, purposely undermining others, not following through on promises or commitments, insults and. ! the coworker is trying to make some kind of mean-spirited point. A co-worker has bad allergies, instead of blowing her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it. But we shake it off, and the office culture is such that a person complaining about that sort of thing would be told to suck it up unless it presents a health concern. Bring the complainer to her house to show that there are no more scented products? I shudder just typing the words. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. I live in the U.S., but Im African and I work in an office where people are from all over the world. Its really hard not to come across as rude. If you yell at them to run, theyll tell you youre crazy, rude, whatever. Its easy for responses that were designed to keep us safe to become a little overreactive. I suppose its possible but we have zero information from the letter to indicate race. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. If your coworker has Aspergers or some kind of sensory processing disorder, they could go through a doctor to have HR find them accommodations away from other people. All day every day. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. At this point, it really feels to me like the coworker is acting like a middle school bully. I worked in a lab, and pretty much every chemical we used suddenly smelled like fish, vomit or both to me. I understand having to accommodate a coworker with an ADA request (although correct me if Im wrong but I believe that would come directly from the company and likely wouldnt require everyone to replace all scented everything they own because that seems like an unreasonable accommodation) but in this case its a coworker who is ceaselessly complaining about the OPS existence rather than her actual scent, based on the steps shes taken. Unless a colleague is burping or sniffing specifically to annoy you, you might not want to elevate the situation by lodging a complaint about her. Im aware of it even if its barely an element of the scent. She even went to my manager, who pulled me aside and asked me about things like deodorant and bath products. Im sure she thinks that the scent is gone I have no doubt about her sincerity and Im also pretty sure Id be able to tell on the Monday if shed worn patchouli that weekend. At my last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself and another coworker. . And the OP is herself sensitive to chemical smells, so the Febreeze would be harming herself. Instead, offer practical solutions that can fix the solution for everyone. The specific patchouli comment is was does it for me. Yep. Just make sure you keep on top of it. When Im exposed to an offending odor (man-made or natural) even if it smells pretty to me, it can trigger a migraine. Sorry to say, sometimes the organic, all natural, Earth friendly stuff is no match for strong or stubborn smells. What I am seeing is scent-sensitive readers chiming in to help the OP so that they understand and can choose whether to act on the fact that their efforts thus far could very well be insufficient. The worst, though, is that my hair picks up smells like no ones business and will smell like cig smoke even if I just walk past a group of people smoking. Does she comment on people in the office who take smoking breaks and come back smelling slightly like cigarettes? To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. I would second Allisons advice to talk to your manager if this was happening to one of my employees I would want to know about it. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. Its pretty frustrating to scroll through. B: Acknowledging that something is a bad thing. But I was situated in front of the AC, I could open windows and office doors to ventilate, we had an air purifier in the office, and he had a fan pointed on him pretty constantly blowing the scent away from him. 5.3k views Reviewed >2 years ago. Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. (One of the worst smells for me is certain types of cigarette smoke: I dislike all of them, but some brands trigger a sinus headache, or a migraine if Im around them too long. If your coworker continues the comments after these conversations, then at that point, say this: Clearly this isnt something we can resolve on our own. You are going above and beyond for this person, which is very thoughtful and empathetic of you. I strongly suspect the scent isnt the problem, its that the OP has become the co-workers BEC for some reason. When Im exposed to a trigger, I cant think clearly, I get super irritable, and all I want to do is get away. Jobacle.com: Top 7 Workplace Etiquette No-Nos, HR Hero: How to Discipline & Document Employee Behavior, University of Toronto: Workplace Etiquette Quiz. My coworker walks in after 8:00 a.m. every single day. For me though, I have three cats in a small apartment and I do my best to keep the cat stink under control. I have awful memories of the time my luggage was lost by an airline. Yes. A coworker sent him a message asking him to stop and he did for all of 15 minutes. Yes, this. The last time she used baby powder on a babys bum was approximately 31 years ago. Honestly, youve done all you can and more. The best you can do is ask people to be considerate. But Im not going to ask another person to never drink that tea again. Smoking stinks, in addition to all the other negative side-effects. Assume the best of your coworker. Sometimes its a subtle smell their bodies give off, sometimes its body odor after a day of work. Same with strawberry shortcake and popcorn. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. You've just arrived back at the office from a heavy lunch with your colleague, and from the other side of the cubicle, you hear him let out a loud, obnoxious burp. I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. I much prefer that someone blows their nose. But it is of course very possible that this is just a drama queen who likes to make a fuss and I agree the OP should be more aggressive about it and not let the boss take the easy way out of only responding to the squeaky wheel. Middle ear pressure and nasopharyngeal pressure were simultaneously measured during forceful sniffing. And if that doesnt work, go to HR. Thermostat Wars conveys what Im trying to say so much better than I could!! Yeah, totally, for mention of patchouli above I think you can refer to the Zendaya Giuliana Rancic dreadlocks saga of 2015 for an example on how this can play out. If someone else wants to wear it, thats their prerogative. Typically I remove myself from the situation asap, while letting the fragrance-wearer know as gently as possible why Im bailing. I also had the thought that the coworker is trying to pick on OP with the smelly hippie stereotype. Lets figure out something you can do to make yourself more comfortable.. My husband had to calm me down. Short of quitting smoking forever and replacing my entire wardrobe, there was no way that I was ever going to make her happy. Personally, I'm a fan of the SimplyNoise generatorspecifically the brown/red noise with an oscillating volume level. It dont bother me. Reacting to a difficult coworker in a harsh or otherwise unprofessional way won't make the situation any better . And I was laughed at. I have no idea what patchouli actually smells like, but I recognize it through its pop culture association with a negative stereotype of unwashed pot-smoking hippie types. Thats rough, though I hope you can work it out. Same when I was a bartender as a 2nd job. My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. But if OP doubled down and insists that they dont actually smell, they will frankly not hold as string a position as if they continue to be open to learning about ways they might be bringing patchouli scent to the office. Exactly this is someone whos enjoying her petty little power trip and bending OP to their will, is how its coming off to me. As an example, you could say, "I'm very sensitive to odors and I lose my focus at work whenever I smell a burp." Or you could say, "I'm on the phone a lot, and the extra . Im hoping it doesnt escalate to that point, but Im glad youre out of that situation now! Oils, especially, can seep into fabric and smell forever, even though you are no longer wearing scented products. I do think at that point she would need to differentiate between something merely existing and something being a problem, though. Honestly, as someone with deadly allergies, Id appreciate the effort you were putting in. Is she hassling the other people in your office? People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. Theres no perfume smell, it smells very natural to me. Make a joke about you. Oh man every time I see someone on here who has sniffling as a trigger I feel a little guilty. Time. Thats why I like Alisons advice. I have offered her a Kleenex which she declined. Doesnt matter, its never clear and I cant stop sniffling. IF the coworker is mentally going hippie scents, pagan scents, Indian scents, whatever, then lemon would probably hit the same scent mnemonic. Issues are raised. Ask your manager to move your desk if the faint scent of a lotion used the night before bothers you that much. Ditto with my kids shampoo and bubble bath. Even if some scent is lingering in the OPs clothes or her body wash is stronger than she thinks, it sounds like she uses a lot less scented stuff than many people do. (I try to share this with people if theyd believe me and not be offended [e.g., my boyfriend] so they know why I might have to suddenly leave the room, but lots of people think this is totally fake and incredibly rude [e.g., my mother, who unfortunately chews with her mouth open in a way that taps into my crazybrain]. For one or both of them should neutralise this co-workers issue at little cloud of masculinity... 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