Its so frustrating and difficult when you love a man your boyfriend and he doesnt make any effort to see you, love you, or even respect you. Honestly this lockdown really changed my relationship! Hi Ella. Is it bad that I miss being just friends with him?. Honestly,I am fully aware I do not want a relationship with someone who acts like this and makes me feel this way, but I am in love with him and our relationship is great, when he gives 100% which I can not let go of, when right now its about 10%. He forgave me and I eventually moved back. If you aren't getting the attention you need and deserve, it may be time to move on. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, For our year and a half anniversary I didnt have money at the time and we were fighting a lot but I made him a good luck bracelet and wrote him a very personal card. Yep. Yet he continues to text me daily, send me daily updates on everything he is doing, etc. I dont think he knows how a relationship works or I am just difficult to be with. I tried to explain this to him. I have been with my bf for 5 years. thank you so much for posting this article since i really need clarity for my mind . Imagine his game is more important than you. I am like at the I dont know what to do stage right now my boyfriend is not even home because I told him to just leave we got together super fast and since the beginning I noticed that he wasnt affectionate at all but I thought he might be shy but as time passed he still is non affectionate at all! HE DOESNT TAKE THE TRASH OUT ANYMORE. SO , I DONT KNOW BUT IM FEELING AT THE END OF MY ROPE. On a scale of 1 to 10, would you rate your relationship a 1 (you started dating within the last couple of months and are still in the beginning phases of getting to know each other) or a 10 (youve been dating for 20 years and know each other inside and out)? We actually ended up breaking up and I tried to distance myself. Since then hes filed for bankruptcy and the interest he used to take in my poetry appears to have disappeared. He had stopped taking pictures of me, he stopped liking my pictures in social media, the gifts stopped, and overall I felt as a hassle when I hung out with him. When You Wish You Were Married: Comfort and Joy on Lonely Days. I dont know what to do. I havent see each other for 2months which it is really upsetting. Hi! I think the best thing to do would be to withdraw and give him space. I love him so much but just dont understand why he doesnt care when I am upset. There are plenty more examples. I tried to tell him how rude that was and he didnt understand where I was coming from and proceeded to tell me I was making a big deal about it. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. good luck to you. He will come around in my opinion. A week after that, I was at a summer camp and me and him were on ft. I bought him a journal for prompting thoughts of positivity and gratitude, He acted appreciative and was OK to do the morning and evening prompts. I feel like my heart is breaking already, just waiting for the dreaded phone call to say he cant give me what I want when Ive said all I want is some time together an hour here or there, some texts to show he cares I dont feel its much but if its too much for him then I guess I need to accept things. I hope this gives you some courage, you deserve to be happy! and drags me with this idea too. Every time I try to tell him how i feel about him not making an effort in general and on nights out, and social media etc, he usually gets angry/annoyed and makes me feel so bad. I was 15 when we got together and he is like my best friend I love him very much the problem is, I just feel like I do everything I can to make him feel comfortable and cared for and he does very little at all. Dont let him have it easy. I dont want to settle or compromise my own feelings anymore..And you shouldnt either. But I look at him for him. Omgod girl leave him. But now everything is so plain and horrible. I am literally in the exact same position. He doesnt pay me a visit at our house- he actually did, 3 times to be exact (there was a celebration in those times). He doesnt ask about my life and hes still working with his ex wife in a business relationship. He was so understanding and apologized for the lack of communication and promised to try his best to communicate more. So, literally, he gives me a quick peck before he goes to work and at least TELLS me he loves me. From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. I said sorry like 4 times before I hung up. You cant let him be the center of your life! We have been together about a year and a half, when we are together we have fun and our intimacy is great. You won't drive him crazy, you'll push him away and for good. ! And he states that he just noticed it then. He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. It's easy for people to say, "It's He also spends all is money on one of purchases like 600 pound shoes and then moans to borrow money while I foot the bill for car expenses etc.I feel like the only time he cuddles me is when he wants sex and if I have an excuse he immediately pulls away. Now its almost been two weeks since weve seen each other. Like we will be having a nice time and something sets him off and he just spirals. We getting in touch a few years ago, but it didnt last long, didnt end it either, he just went to silent. I am depressed as well and yet my partner is on top of my prioroty list. Weve knwon each other since high school because my bestfriend has relationship with him. I cannot communicate with him. I could write a book about the unfolding sh*t show rollercoaster I worried from that start of meeting the man of my dreams would end up being. He would change his mind a lot from going to his home state to staying and ever since hes been on and off in our relationship and very careless he doesnt put effort into it after everything I HAVE DONE FOR HIM. Whats the good of having money and a nice house if you dont enjoy your life!??? and even whn im thr at his place, he would play his game until its time to sleep and then repeat the same thing everyday. Let YOU be your super woman! I discussed all these issues with him 2 days before. Just because he's hot and cold doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and is backing out. And when I ask him what hes been doing that he cant call me, he gives me horrible excuses. After that he chatted me that hes sorry he didnt give the money and I said im not accepting money for sex. wishful thinking: wanting to be wanted deeply wanted to feel like a woman kisses, grabbed, eye gazed wanting to be complimented and acknowledged. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. So hes stopped making an effort because it doesnt matter. I trusted his words for way too long. And I know its not healthy to compare your relationships to others but Id be lying if I said I never wish my relationship was more like others. But it hasnt. I had my final straw this past week with his lack of effort and I broke up With him. And dont get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with him regardless, it just got really boring and frustrating after half a year. Does not show any effort at all, but claims to love me so much. I may be overreacting sometimes, but I believe my feelings are valid. Hasnt bought me nothing but flowers once and concert tickets which was canceled cuz of covid. FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. Be someone who demands respect, dont waste any more of your time with someone who isnt hearing you. It lasted 4 days. Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. NO PHONE CALL. Its been almost 2 yrs with him and I hot him gifts ( handmade thoughtful gift and a tshirt) he hot me nothing for my bday. I asked him if he could pick me up some tea from the shop as I was unwell. It has still been difficult for me since we spent so much time together. Maybe hes too heavy into the party, drugs, and alcohol scene. I make sure I put into the relationship as much as I get. I used to blame myself but I took DBT and have actually tried employing the skills I learned. Lately, it feels like we fight all the time. I met this guy 6months ago we were happy and everything was going well, until last week Friday.He went out with his friends and he came back in the morning. I accepted bread crumbs, while continuing to give and give and give. Especially since at the beginning thats when you have your honeymoon stage with the feeling of butterflies and the sweet words. Try to change. I found a way thomy school computer so yeah. He was telling me about his plan for tomorrow and I asked about when we are supposed to go out, he acted annoyed and commented I knew you would be worried about that really? When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. His text messages have gotten shorter, he would rather hangout with his buddies instead and says if we hangout to much we will get bored of eachother. I really love him but he is not doing anything to build connections. I even dressed like a naughty teacher when we had sex. But Im starting to realize my own self worth. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. He only got me a childrens bear . I would break up and then we would make up. But I cant help but hang onto hope, desperately wanting something inside him to change. I asked him why he didnt and I wasnt yelling I only needed just an explanation. I can say that he is the kind of guy who only knows how to love me through his words and not by his actions. Lastly, he is obsessed with social media. But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? I cant meet anyone else because everyone else doesnt want to be in relationships just sex or they are talking to other girls. I felt confident with my decision to part. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. I can sorta relate to you, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but our relationship took off really quickly, and he seemed like the perfect boyfriend for the first month, but after that, its seemed like Ive gradually lost his respect. ? Like WTF is your goal, here, exactly? You, me, and probably thousands of other girls are in the same boat right now with the Coronavirus. My boyfriend is a gifts/ Provider type of love which is always been difficult and I try to be super vocal about the ways I feel loved. Then keep being the fabulous person that you are. I appreciated it still but it was all cheap and last minute, again lack of effort. Just torn and dont know what to do. Xx. We just never did anything like that alone. Be like, Hey, Im going to the beach or the zoo tomorrow and I was also gonna do this other thing. Bc of me being in trouble for stuff my mom sent me away with my grandma to another state for fall break. Just because he misses a few phone calls or texts doesn't mean he is ignoring you." I really love this article. All I want is for us to share things I love together and not just his hobbies and interests. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. Ive thought of letting him go because hes not what I want in a relationship, but hes the only one in this world that knows every single thing thats been in my head. Then make him work for you! COMPROMISE but just be sure its not all on your side. Its been since then that the dating pattern of our relationship has declined significantly. Im still dissatisfied I guess. she tells him SHE is sorry. He told me the other day if you dont like the way I am, then leave me. it breaks my heart that despite all my efforts still i been judged as a selfish gf. Sounds exactly like me and my ex. The point Im trying to make is, if you settle for mistreatment and excuses for why its ok, youll only end up resentful and unable to trust anyone again. He started withdrawing from me after I asked him 2-3 times to hang out and do things with me. Any effort I make gets unnoticed and it is never enough. Then I gave up on trying to figure it out. Anyway I would talk about these things with him and he would make progress, but then get right back to the same place shortly after. At first, he was working, seeing his daughter, making me coffee in the morning, starting my car for me, doing dishes, and laundry and now ten months in, he lost his job, and I have no idea if hes looking for a job. Do you feel loved? He always tells me that he loves me and always talks about the future seriously, but honestly it just feels like I just have to take his word for it. Were in a fight right now because of that and what he says is for me to do things the way I used to but that way we will never be together. He knows im going to have sex with him if he initiates it because im 36 years old and NEVER EVER EVER have sex. He said he was planning on proposing that year. I know it was all my fault and wish i could fix things! But I clearly have seen enough examples of the ones who simply stops caring when they are sure that we will be theirs and we will always care about them no matter what. Me and my partner have been together 5 years. I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. I want him to want to make things better instead of just making decisions that arent beneficial to the relationship or are just downright harmful to the relationship. Stop yourself from bombarding him with messages. WebI was recently "set up" by a friend by him giving my number to a friend he thought would be a good match for me. yes I did give myself to him.he was my first.. and it was the second time I snuck out but I did everything for him and I get ignored. I love him to death, and I know he loves me. I asked why the sudden change? Oh, also he keeps poking my stomach and at first it was funny and cute but now its genuinely annoying and Im trying to tell him to stop but he doesnt take me seriously and just kind of turns it into a joke. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. I dont know what to do. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. We get along well because we were good friends before the relationship, we have a lot in common, but spent a little time together in person before the relationship, communicating mainly online. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. I know he is under a huge amount of stress because of work issues and family issues We dont spend much time with each other since we are both extremely busy, however; I am always keen to plan my time so we could at least spend half a day with each other weekly or every two weeks. ? line and starts listing all the nice things he did recently. All he does is playing fucking video games all day and night. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. I want to make things work. I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN LIFE BUT I WOULD INSIST ON HIM CHANGING THE DRINKING NOW OR LATER YOU COULD BE LIVING MY LIFE. I absolutely abhor talking to anyone ever. I would be the one driving to go see him, but I still over looked it and gave him benefit of doubt. I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. hi so ive been with my bf for 4 years and at first ofc it was all great but after 2 years he jst stopped putting in effort and when i ask him to, he makes it seems like its such a chore. He needs help but isnt able to take responsibility or accountability or doesnt care enough about maintaining the relationship I guess to do anything to make it work. Ive always looked for someone else to fill that void for me. Youre not alone my girl xxx, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2yrs now, everything was all good until the beginning of 2019,he started to distance himself from me, one day I received a text message from a strange number asking me if I know my boyfriend and if we are dating, I was calm and honest when I answered the text, I went to whatsapp and checked the number out and I saw the photo, it was a lady texting me, I asked her who she was and she said she was just a friend to my guy and she noticed that lately my guy has been stressed and she thought it was a lady stressing her, thats why she snooped on his phone and got my number, all this time I remained calm, thee following day I decided to go to my boyfriend house without informing him, it was around 10pm, I met with the same lady their, my guy was not around, I got inside the house and the lady went straight to sit at the bed while I was sitting at the chair, I couldnt wait any longer I went home, I couldnt get in touch with the guy on phone, his phone was off, the following day this same lady called me at around 7pm telling me that my boyfriend is sick, I went to his house and I found the lady with my guy sitting on the bed very close, I was still calm I said hi and I sat on the chair, this lady excused herself and left me with my guy, I asked him who was the lady and he told me that his best friend was dating Herr so they are just good friends, we spoke and everything was good, the following day in the morning this lady text me and tells me why I came to break that guys heart, the guy told the lady that I had come to break up with him, that I told him I found another man, I never said anything like that, why was my guy lying? 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